Entries Tagged 'Family' ↓

IMDB: Radio

Basic Plot: The account of a high school football coach and the developmentally challenged man he took under his wing. Inspired by a 1996 Sports Illustrated article.

Ourburst: Have your daredevil kids skip the opening credits; the movie begins with a ‘don’t try this at home’ moment. This film is formulaic and conventional. You’ll find no innovations in directing, storyline, or editing but they did a pretty good job considering they created a movie out of everyday life. The end result is that the quality of this film hinges solely on the acting ability of Cuba Gooding Jr, whose performance is unfortunately inconsistent. The overall impression is of mediocrity, with brief moments of genius-level acting ability.

— Fairly innocuous as a family movie, hinging on topics of prejudice, bullying, and how we treat the mentally disabled (and, to some extent, African-Americans) in our society.

Official Site: Radio
Original Article from Sports Illustrated: Someone to Lean On
Real Life vs. Reel Life: A Comparison of Factual Events to the Movie on ChasingTheFrog.com

WATCH IT NOW: Radio

IMDB: Time Bandits

Basic Plot: A boy runs off on a time-traveling adventure with a group of bandit dwarves.

Outburst: Not as good as the Monty Python movies, possibly due to its ambiguous target audience. It’s billed as a family movie, but many parents would find it not entirely appropriate. On the other hand, it is much more enjoyable for adults to watch than your average family garbage.

/CULT — Introduce your older kids to the joys of Python-esque humor with this fantasy film by Terry Gilliam.

Wikipedia Entry: Time Bandits
WikiQuotes: Time Bandits

WATCH IT NOW: Time Bandits

The translation of the original title is “Ponyo on the Cliff” and its original English movie title was “Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea”. I watched the version dubbed in English.

IMDB: Ponyo

Basic Plot: Inspired by the story of The Little Mermaid, this is a Japanese cartoon about a boy and a princess goldfish who longs to become human.

Outburst: Does anyone else care that goldfish are a type of freshwater fish? Seems a weird thing to quibble about if you can overlook talking fish with human faces and magic kingdoms under the sea. After extensive internet trolling, I decided Ponyo is a type of Shōjō, or Japanese red sea-sprite. Seems like Disney performed another epic fail when they did the translation, Ponyo really should have been referred to as a red-fish to avoid all that confusion. Despite the almost magical animation–like a picture book brought to life–this movie failed to captivate me. The dad is practically nonexistent in family life and the mom is ditzy. The theme song at the end is both really bad and really catchy, like obnoxious jingle catchy. Not the best film to come out of Studio Ghibli.

— This is a very simplistic kid’s tale, suitable for families with children of all ages, provided pagan folktales don’t bother you. Parents, it is always good practice to talk with your kids about the movies you watch together. Also good for those who like alternative mythology.

Official Site (Disney): Ponyo
Wikipedia Entry: Ponyo
How Ponyo didn’t get lost in translation

Did your kids suddenly decide they wanted to own a fish? Try them on a virtual aquarium first, such as Fish Tycoon.

IMDB: Courage

Basic Plot: ‘Faith & Family’ movie about a family (dad, stepmom, teenage daughter) who get trapped in the wilderness after a boating accident. Since this started as a camping trip and they didn’t lose any gear, this is more a ‘camping gone wrong’ film than a survival movie.

Outburst:
CAMPING FOR IDIOTS, QUESTION #1:
You really need to get information across through a cell phone and the call goes through, but you can’t be understood due to interference. Do you:
a) send a text message, something any teen girl who has ever gone inside a movie theater understands,
b) look to see if the emergency radio on your capsized boat is still working or can be repaired, or
c) give up and start emergency survival camping. Hell, you’ve always wanted to try out your wilderness first aide training and you think you’d look fabulous in a pine-needle skirt.
(pick the worst choice and find out which one they did)

CAMPING FOR IDIOTS, QUESTION #2:
You plan on camping in bear country. Which bear deterring equipment do you bring?
a) A gun, even if it is just a flare gun,
b) bear repellent spray, because you don’t believe in guns or killing animals,
c) the sound signalling device from your boat (the one required by law in Canada), because bears hate loud noises, or
d) nothing, as it is sufficient to panic and run away if you see a bear.
(again, pick the worst option)

CAMPING FOR IDIOTS, QUESTION #3:
You’re out camping and you need to light a fire. What do you do?
a) Not a problem, I smoke like a chimney and wouldn’t be caught dead without a lighter.
b) Figure out that nifty magnesium, flint and steel keychain I bought at Hudson Trail Outfitters along with the $3000 worth of other camping ‘essentials’.
c) Pull some crazy MacGyver-like trick by starting a fire with my cellphone. All those issues of Backpacker Magazine really did come in handy!

Okay, so I’m diggin’ that stepmom figured out this trick considering she couldn’t use the phone to send a text. She’s actually a strong female role-model, something you don’t often find in these kinds of movies. The acting isn’t terrible. The soundtrack is okay. It doesn’t have profanity, excessive violence, or nudity, and features the obligatory day-glo happy ending. Not to mention, with people like Christian Cinema giving it their ‘five doves of approval’ we’ll be sure to see more blah family adventures coming soon to a DVD near you.

— You can safely put this movie in for the older kids and preteens to watch at the family reunion while you hide out in the master bedroom smoking a joint with your cousin. It’s lame enough that not even the most tiresome grandma will object and watchable enough that most folks would rather pass out from food coma than raise the energy needed to wander off in search of you.

WATCH IT NOW: Courage
To learn how to start a fire with your cellphone, watch this film:
Backpacker Magazine: Cell Phone Fire
Further Reading: How to Avoid a Bear Attack

IMDB: Tangled

Basic Plot: The Disney version of Rapunzel, meaning it has very little in common with the original story besides a girl with long hair who lives in a tower until some guy rescues her.

Ourburst: What you’ve come to expect from this behemoth company: an award winning soundtrack, quality actors, stellar backdrops and animation. Don’t get your hopes up for more. Despite advertisements (and a controversial last minute name-change) touting its gender-inclusive storyline, this remains a “Disney princess movie”. It is decent within its genre, but not original.

/DVD — Watchable but not mesmerizing for the first viewing. I wouldn’t pay to see it (unless I could check out the 3D version), but if you have a ‘little princess’ in your family you’ll definitely want to invest in the DVD, along with some earplugs for the 900^th repeat showing on the Rapunzel-dedicated television set.

Official Site: Tangled
Wikipedia Entry: Tangled

BUY IT NOW! Tangled (DVD)
BUY IT NOW! Tangled [4 Disc: Blu-ray 3D / Blu-ray / DVD / Digital Cpy]

IMDB: Stand and Deliver

Basic Plot: Based on the story of Jaime Escalante, a high school teacher who successfully inspired his inner-city students to learn calculus.

Outburst: An alright movie, probably my least favorite of the ‘mentor’ films. It is a pioneer of the student-teacher genre, which holds a special place in my heart.

— Classic of the ‘troubled youth and mentor’ subset of movies. Also great for learning Spanglish and for discussions about discrimination against Latinos.

WATCH IT NOW: Stand And Deliver

IMDB: River’s End

Basic Plot: A Menard County sheriff uses tough love on his troubled teen grandson. He can stay out of jail if he takes a solo canoe trip down 60 miles of Pecos River.

Outburst: For a low-budget film, the C-list acting is better than expected (with the notable exception of Caroline Goodall, whose talent tragically nosedives for the duration of this film). Sam Huntington does well in the main role despite absurd plot convolutions forcing him to play the role of Mick in Crocodile Dundee II while dressing like a punk Karate Kid. The soundtrack is as appallingly synthesized as you’d expect; the special effects (including some obviously plastic insects) are laughable.

— Remember those ABC after-school specials? If you liked those and think that the only real men are cowboys wearing white hats, you’ll enjoy this film. It’s a good clean family movie with lots of morals included.

This is the fourth and final installment of the original Karate Kid series with Noriyuki “Pat” Morita. Later on, Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith would remake the original, setting it in China.

IMDB: The Next Karate Kid

Basic Plot: Mr. Miyagi is back, teaching karate to a troubled teenage girl.

Outburst: The main character’s belligerence is completely overdone, the thirty-something actors are unconvincing as high school students, and they would have done better to fit this movie’s theme closer to the original’s (more bullying, less teen romance). Just think of all the girl on girl violence that could have been crammed in! The hawk subplot is awkward and contrived (because your average Boston teen can totally mend a broken wing, Boston being such great hawk country). Getting to watch a girl beat up the guy who beat up her boyfriend makes all the film’s previous flaws inconsequential.

— Kids might simply overlook this movie’s flaws for love of Hillary Swank, so this probably makes a good family movie despite everything else.

WATCH IT NOW: The Next Karate Kid

IMDB: Karate Kid (1984)
IMDB: Karate Kid II (1986)
IMDB: Karate Kid III (1989)

Basic Plot: A martial-artist handyman agrees to teach a bullied boy karate. In the second movie, the two are embroiled in a family dispute after they journey to Okinawa so Master Miyagi can visit his dying father. In the third movie, the rival karate master from the first film attempts to gain revenge with the aid of an old army buddy.

Outburst: The first movie is a family drama classic. The second movie is a worthy sequel. We’re going to pretend the third movie is a nightmare that goes away when you wake up. That shouldn’t be too hard considering the plot makes about as much sense as a fever dream.

/DVD — The first two movies are gems and collectibles, worth watching at film festivals and at home.
0 stars — Ignore the third movie as truly awful with a terrible premise, nonsensical plot, and lackluster testosterone-fueled scripting.

BUY IT NOW! The Karate Kid I & II (Collector’s Ed.) [Blu-ray]
BUY IT NOW! The Karate Kid (Spec. Ed. DVD)

IMDB: Black Beauty

Basic Plot: Narration of the life of a horse.

Outburst: While the movie is basically a book narrated to video, it was heavily rewritten and also sanitized for children. I can live with the stripping of the more depressing acts of animal cruelty found in the book, but much of the screenplay narrative is plain awful.

— Horse lovers (especially kids) will like this movie. It’s the the most faithful of the film adaptations I’ve seen.

Read the book for free at Project Gutenberg: Black Beauty
Wikipedia Entry: Black Beauty

WATCH IT NOW: Black Beauty