Basic Plot: This is the remake of the 1984 title. I’d forgotten how SAD parts of the first movie were until I watched this, mildly sniffle-eyed, next to my sniffled-eyed cohort. As this version is set in China and revolves around kung-fu, not karate, it was released in that country as Kung-Fu Kid.

Outburst: Okay, so Jackie Chan will never fill the shoes of Pat Morita — thank goodness he isn’t really trying for that. Don’t let the naysayers keep you from the theatre, for this movie is surely worthy of the big screen.

/DVD — A gem of a film. Carve out a space for the DVD on your shelve, next to the original.

Official Site: The Karate Kid

Basic Plot: A computer hackers discovers his world is an illusion run by machines and enlists with human rebels in a war to save humanity.

Outburst: So I put these all together, because really these are best watched as a set. “WHAT!?” you say, “the sequels didn’t compare to the first, how could you?” Sure, when you watch it for visually stunning and original special effects, the later movies seem a little mundane. When you look at them as an attempt to elaborate on a philosophically cyclical construct presented in the first movie, they are enriching. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, read more literature.

/CULT/DVD — Get it, love it, read more Socrates and Keats.

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Basic Plot: Humanity attempts to take over a alien planet. A disabled soldier is torn between the desire to follow orders and the need to protect the world he has come to be a part of.

Outburst: Am I the only person not totally blown away by this movie? Okay, so I didn’t get to see it in IMAX 3-D with the dorky glasses. The special effects are still stellar, but a few times I could tell where objects were placed or moved to enhance the 3D effect, just like in those ridiculous rides at theme parks. Once you get past all the glitz, the plot itself is rather mundane.

/CULT — Folks who want to paint themselves blue notwithstanding, this is just an average-good movie. It’s pure Hollywood entertainment.

Official Avatar Movie Website
Wikipedia Entry: Avatar

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Basic Plot: The game’s afoot, and Holmes is on the chase!

Outburst: Entertaining wit, engaging fights, and a clever Sherlock concept make this a fun movie.  I had a few small quibbles with minor details, but overall was vastly pleased.

/DVD  (3 of 3 stars) — It’s just a fun sort of movie.  While not technically steampunk, I think fans of steampunk and/or Holmes will want to add this to their DVD collections as well.

Official Sherlock Holmes Website

Basic Plot: Scrawny kid who watches too many kung-fu movies is magically transported to another realm in which he must return a mystical staff to the Monkey God.

Outburst: I’ve seen more logical plots on pornos.  This is just a thinly veiled attempt to string together intense martial arts scenes between Jet Li and Jackie Chan, with some hot fighting Asian girls thrown into the mix.  It’s pretty awesome.

/CULT  (2 of 3 stars) — If you love comedic kung-fu movies, you’ll find this movie a fun classic.

Official Website: The Forbidden Kingdom
Wikipedia: The Forbidden Kingdom

Basic Plot: A fighting monk must find the new protector for a magical scroll.  Based on an obscure comic book.

Outburst:  What starts as a fun, fighting frolic develops into hokey nonsense plagued by the bad acting of supporting characters.  It makes no sense for him to get the girl at the end.  Why do the bad guys have to be Nazis?  Who scripted these girls?  The point of any woman in a kungfu movie is to look hot, kick butt, and take names, not make me cringe when they try to act.

/CULT (1 of 3 stars) – It is obligatory that all Chow Yun-Fat fans watch (and possibly own) this movie, and it’s a good time waster if you are a kungfu movie fan.  For the rest of us, there are much better movies out these days.

Wikipedia: Bulletproof Monk

Outburst: As a born cynic, I could probably nitpik all day about trivial things (why does the Romulan ship look like something out of the Matrix; is all that Uhura ‘romantic interest’ nonsense necessary) but that would just be my fault-finding nature on overdrive. The movie certainly paid lip service to its fans (whether Trekker or Trekkie) in a humoristic series of lighthearted camps that didn’t pretend to be anything other than fan-pleasers… and yet I was still pleased by them, ridiculously so. Who would want a Trek movie where Kirk doesn’t tangle with a hot alien girl, get into fist-fights with alien baddies, and no one gets saved ‘unexpectedly’ just in the nick of time? Those aren’t even spoilers on my part; they are so much a part of the franchise.

And just as I was enormously pleased by the slightly campy, action-packed futuristic fun, so too will you be, even if you are only a moderate Trek fan. The latest edition of the popular series is a romp of a movie and certain to be a real crowd pleaser.

/DVD (3 of 3 stars) — A totally awesome movie you should definitely check out in theaters AND add to your Star Trek collection.

Official Site: Star Trek.com